


Unconventional Missing-Nin

by Flux_Uchiha, TheDeadGirlRisen



Category: Naruto
Genre: Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Danzo is to blame, Everything is Danzo's fault, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Madara and Hashirama shenanigans, Namikaze Minato Lives, Team Minato Bonding, Team Minato are missing nin, Uzumaki Kushina Lives
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:41:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22199548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flux_Uchiha/pseuds/Flux_Uchiha, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDeadGirlRisen/pseuds/TheDeadGirlRisen
Summary: Kushina has always had a knack for sensing, and when Minato tells her about Obito's death she refuses to believe it and uses her sensory skills to find him. To Minato's surprise and joy, Obito is alive. They request a mission to go get him, but by the time they return the great tree of Konoha has been poisoned against them.In which Madara, Hashirama, and Team Minato are all missing-nins.
Relationships: Namikaze Minato/Uzumaki Kushina, Nohara Rin/Uchiha Obito
Comments: 24
Kudos: 88





	1. Chapter 1

When Kushina told him she sensed Obito’s chakra, and he was most certainly alive, Minato nearly cried. Actually, he did, but he pretended he didn’t for the sake of his dignity. What tiny portion that was left of it, anyway. He blamed Kushina for a lack of dignity. She spared no one, especially not her husband. In fact, he probably suffered more than anyone else.

Minato grinned as he flashed away to find Kakashi and Rin, who were at the training ground waiting for him since he was supposed to meet with them at one. Minato was nearly late as he managed to arrive at the last minute. Some times, he was so very glad he’d created the Hirashin. It gave him extra time to spend with his wife or talking with his friends and precious students. 

“Minato-Sensei,” Kakashi said cooly. “Held up by Kushina-nee again?” 

“Yes,” Minato started, and was interrupted by Rin giggling at him. “But not for the reason you think!” He told her with slightly narrowed eyes. Pre-teens. Always had their mind in the gutter.

“Oh?” Rin asked, a faint smile still clear on her lips. Even if it was at his expense, Minato was happy to see her smile. 

“Yeah, Kushina found Obito’s chakra! He’s alive!” 

Rin lit up like a firework, “Really?” 

Even Kakashi cracked a very slight smile, touching his headband, which was slanted down over the eye Obito had given him. 

Minato just nodded rapidly for a few seconds, a wide grin stretching across his face. He could finally have all of his basically adopted children back! He resisted the urge to wrap them all up in bubble wrap and memory foam to keep them safe, and beamed at them, “We did just get on to active duty today, we can request to go look for him.” 

Rin hugged Minato happily, brown eyes staring at him as she stepped back. “What are we waiting for? Let’s go put this team back together!” She grabbed Kakashi and Minato’s hands, dragging them off to Hokage tower. 

Kushina met them halfway, her whole body seeming to radiate from the large smile that she sported. 

They walked into Hokage tower, and the secretary looked amused before handing Minato an orange folder, “Take this to Hokage-sama.” 

Minato nodded to her, and they continued on their way to the Hokage’s office. 

“Ah, Minato, What brings you here?” The third Hokage asked with his warm smile and gentle eyes. Sure, Minato knew the Hokage was really strong, but he was also friendly with his ninja’s, unlike some other Kage’s.

Minato handed him the folder, which the Hokage started to rifle through flicking between the papers “This, and the fact that Kushina sensed Obito’s chakra, and he’s very much alive!” 

The Hokage looked up abruptly from the folder, “Obito?” 

Kushina nodded happily, “Yep!” 

The Hokage stroked his beard as he thought about what to do, and finally he came to a decision as he gave a heavy sigh, “Kushina, you are permitted to go attempt to find Obito.” 

“What about us?” Rin asked immediately. 

“I need you three to take on this mission. You can meet up with Kushina and Obito if she is successful at the end of the mission. You can travel together for the most part, but need to split off to do separate missions.” 

Minato was crushed but nodded gamely. They’d be the first ones to see Obito, so it would be okay, even if they weren’t the ones personally retrieving him. “What’s the mission?” 

“You are to pick up vital medical supplies from this outpost here,” The Hokage told them as he nailed a senbon on a spot on the map he kept on his wall. Minato was impressed, he didn’t even see Sarutobi’s wrist or hand moving. “They aren’t urgent right now, but they will be very soon. Get back as soon as you can.” 

Minato nodded, “I’ll send a toad back with them immediately after we fetch and seal the supplies. We’ll head back on our own.” 

The Hokage smiled, “Thank you. You are dismissed,” He handed Minato the folder, and the Jounin scanned it, then tucked it away. 

Kushina barely held it in until Minato flashed them all to his house. She squealed immediately after they arrived though, causing poor Kakashi to shy away from her and clamp his hands over his ears. “We’re going to get Obito back!”

* * *

It went so very wrong. Sure, Minato and Kakashi got everything sealed up, and sent it off in a toad, but Rin had been kidnapped, and now they had to go after the idiotic Kiri Nin who thought it was a good idea to kidnap the Yellow Flash’s student. Based on the fact that all were currently dead, or in so much pain they wished they were dead, it was not a great idea. Minato had a sadistic streak against those who dared to hurt those that were his.

Apparently, the ones who kidnapped Rin had backup that was currently chasing after them. Now that they had Rin with them it wouldn’t be wise to fight, so Minato and Kakashi ran away with Kiri Ninja chasing them as they worked on getting away from their pursuers. 

“Minato-Sensei,” Rin said quietly from her spot on his back, “They put a seal on me.” 

Minato wanted to start cursing colorfully but was not going to because he had self-control. “Hold in there Rin, we’ll take a look at it.” 

“You don’t understand,” Rin said weakly. “I’m a ticking time bomb, I can’t go back to Konoha.” 

“Then we won’t go to Konoha, we still have to meet up with Kushina and Obito, and we can check out the seal then. You need to recover, and I’m sure Obito will need to recover as well,” Minato soothed. 

Finally, Kiri gave up the chase, as the night fell and Rin long fell asleep on his back, the two awake Konoha ninjas ignored the night as they continued to run. They wanted to get to the meeting spot as soon as possible. Kushina had promised to wait unless Obito was in need of immediate medical attention. 

“Minato!” Kushina cried, nearly launching herself at him, but stopping when she spotted Rin sleeping on his back. “What happened? Actually, nevermind, come back to camp, Obito’s waiting. Also, we have a friend until we leave.” 

“A friend?” Kakashi questioned, raising an eyebrow. 

“He’s the one who saved Obito,” Kushina explained, taking Rin from Minato, and leading them back to the camp, “He’s pretty cool!” 

Now Minato was mildly worried. Kushina found very few people ‘pretty cool’ and they had a tendency to be… very similar to his wife. Not that it was always a bad thing, but it was always… interesting. 

They arrived in camp to find an old man sitting in front of a fire. His long spiky hair was grey, going on white, and he had loads of wrinkles. It was Minato’s opinion that he almost looked like a raisin. 

He nodded to them, and went back to staring into the fire, “Obito is in that tent there. He is sleeping currently, please do not disturb him.” 

Minato peeked into the tent and smiled at the sleeping Obito, the pillow under his head disappearing under the blanket that covered him, signaling he was in his usual sleeping position, wrapped around a pillow, much like an octopus. 

Kakashi quickly set up both a tent for himself, and one for Kushina to place Rin in. Minato set up his own tent, as while he would like to sleep with Kushina, there simply wasn’t room in a standard tent. He noted that the old man did, in fact, have a tent, but it didn’t look like a standard shinobi one. Still a small one-man tent, but more like an adapted version of the standard civilian camping tent. 

Tents set up, and stuff mostly put away, the awake members sat around the fire. 

“So, what’s your name?” Minato asked, breaking the silence. 

“Madara Uchiha,” the old man said calmly. 

Kakashi jumped, and hid behind Minato, “The Madara Uchiha?” He squeaked. 

Minato glanced at Kakashi, amused. Sure it was slightly worrying that Madara Uchiha was apparently still alive, but the man looked so old that if he tried to do a jutsu he would die, or at least pass out. Plus he trusted his wife’s judgment, no matter how odd it may seem to anyone else.

Madara nodded, still staring into the fire, “Are there any others?” 

Kakashi blinked owlishly at him, “Not that I know of.” 

Kushina grinned, “You should hear him talk about his fights with Hashirama, they’re epic!” 

Minato grinned at his wife. So this was why she thought he was ‘pretty cool’ he was a good storyteller. Figures. “Oh?” 

Kushina nodded excitedly. “Yeah, his fights with Hashirama are incomparable to what is said in history books. Also, Y’know that old warmonger Danzo?” 

“The Hokage’s advisor and one of his old teammates?” Minato asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Yeah, him. Apparently, his dad was the one to get Madara kicked out of Konoha!” 

“The old warmonger spread rumors about me, and when I brought the Kyuubi to Konoha to be sealed away, he said that I was attacking Konoha. Hashirama was sent to ‘deal with it’. I explained, he sealed away the Kyuubi in his wife, and I left. He declared me dead to Konoha so no one would hunt me down. I disappeared off the map, finding that Gezo statue that has kept me alive for the most part, in a sort of stasis. I can live without it for a time, but will need to return when you leave.” 

“So, how did Obito survive?” Kakashi asked, not coming out from behind Minato. 

“I grafted a chunk of this organic flesh stuff, he will be fine with lots of rest. The arm needs to set, which will take up to two months,” Madara explained patiently, his visible eye glinting in amusement at the still hiding Kakashi. “I got him out of the rocks, and got him into my cave, doing my best to treat him. Kushina broke in a few days ago, then started apologizing when Obito was accidentally gashed across the leg with a shard of the wall. Or rather, what had been the wall.” 

Minato gave a chuckle as he smiled fondly at his wife, “Sounds about right.” 

“I didn’t mean to send rock shards flying into the room, dattebane!” Kushina protested. 

Kakashi patted her on the back sympathetically. 

“She walked in, picked up Obito, and while I was trying to detach from the Gedo Mazo statue, started walking out,” Madara said, shaking his head, the corner of his lip turning up. 

“I didn’t even see you in that corner!” Kushina said, throwing her arms up in the air. 

Madara smiled, a touch condescendingly, “Of course not, that was kind of the point of being in the shadows.” 

Kushina pouted at him, “You could’ve said something!” 

He raised an eyebrow at her, “And risk you punching me before I could explain? No thank you.” 

Kakashi looked puzzled, “If you were kicked out by Danzo’s dad, what was his name?” 

“Danzo,” Madara answered with a small thoughtful frown.

Kushina blinked, then started laughing, “Hey, that means the Danzo alive today is a Danzo junior!” 

Madara was contemplative, “I believe he had mentioned naming his child after himself. Were you not aware of that?” 

Minato shook his head, “Honestly, I didn’t know he had a father. I suppose he had to come from somewhere though.” 

“When will Obito be ready to head back to Konoha?” Kakashi asked, finally coming out from behind Minato and sitting next to the fire again. It seemed that since there was no immediate threat he had chosen to relax a bit. 

Madara shrugged, “Whenever he wakes up he should be fine, but he would need to be carried. His legs are not ready for shinobi movement. It will take a bit for him to learn how to use his legs again.” 

Kushina turned to glance at the tent Rin was in, “Why were you carrying Rin? It doesn’t seem like her to run out of energy halfway through a mission.” 

“As we sent off the toad, some Kiri nin appeared out of nowhere and kidnapped her,” Minato explained, frowning. “We chased after her, but only caught up when they stopped to do something. According to Rin, they placed a seal on her, making her some sort of ticking time bomb.” 

Kushina looked almost offended, “That could mean those baka sealed a biju into her! I’ve only seen them, but there are seals to release a biju when certain criteria are met. Like, location.” 

Minato decided that the next time he ran into Kiri nin, they would find out exactly why you didn’t mess with the Yellow Flash. Or his students. 

“You can fix the seal, right?” Kakashi asked hopefully. 

Kushina smiled kindly at him, “Of course I can! Minato will help too, won’t you, dear?” She turned a poisonously sweet smile on him. 

Minato nodded rapidly, “Of course! Half the reason I’ve been studying Fuinjutsu anyway.” 

“And your Hirashin,” Kushina added, smiling cheekily at him. 

“That was because I was studying Fuinjutsu,” Minato corrected. 

Kakashi yawned suddenly, and Minato glanced at the sky, noting it was almost dawn. “Go sleep Kakashi, we’ve been awake almost all night.” 

Kakashi didn’t even bother protesting, just got up and disappeared into his tent. 

“You sleep too, Minato,” Kushina told him. “I took a nap earlier, you’ve been running around all day. Go sleep.” 

Minato was going to protest, then he yawned, and Kushina just smiled at him pointedly. 


	2. Chapter 2

“Minato!” Kushina shouted, startling the blond awake. 

“What?” He asked, a Hiraishin kunai already in hand on instinct. 

“Rin’s awake, and Obito’s close to being awake.” 

Minato sighed, putting the kunai away, and running a hand through his blond hair, “Alright, give me a moment.” 

Kushina grinned, a hint of mischief in her smile, and ducked out, “Make sure you hurry, we have lunch!” 

Needless to say, Minato hurried after hearing those words. Food from Kushina was always delicious. 

When he got out, Kakashi was still in his tent, but Rin was sitting next to the fire, a hand on her stomach, and staring into the flames. Minato guessed Kushina had told her about the biju. Minato noticed Kushina poking at something in the fire, and crouched down next to her, spotting the tinfoil wrapped shapes in the fire. 

“Almost done!” She told him, before staring back at the shapes, and poking at them a few more times. 

“Are you okay Rin?” Minato asked, relocating to sit next to Rin instead. 

“What’s the word for people like me?” She asked quietly. 

“Jinchuuriki,” Minato replied, just as quietly. “Kushina’s one as well, you know.” 

Rin nodded slowly, her eyes downcast as she mumbled, “She told me. I guess nine tails is harder than three.” 

“Cheer up, we’ll seal it properly, and be on our way back to Konoha. Plus, Obito will wake up soon, and he’ll be fine. As far as I know, he’ll even be able to be a shinobi again, once he recovers properly.” Minato smiled at her, and she managed a slight smile in return. 

“All done!” Kushina announced, and in a slight breeze, Kakashi appeared next to her, tent slightly open. 

Kushina pulled the tinfoil wrapped shapes from the fire, swiftly unwrapping them. 

Minato sighed happily, the scent of the cooked meat filling the air. 

Kushina quickly sliced up the meat, passing it around. They thanked her for the meal, and dug in, quickly finishing. She wrapped some of it up, placing it near the fire so it would stay warm for Obito. 

Minato got up and found his fuinjutsu supplies, motioning for Rin and Kushina to join him in his tent so they could seal the biju. 

“It’s the three tails, so we should be fine drawing a four-pointed seal over the current one, breaking that one, then drawing a second four-pointed seal on top to ensure it doesn’t break out, and you can get used to its chakra,” Minato explained as he handed Kushina fuinjutsu supplies. 

Rin nodded, laying down on her back, shirt pulled up to expose her stomach. 

Kushina and Minato began drawing around the seal already there, drawing in a four-pointed seal, adding extra swirls for strength, and to prepare it to have a second seal placed on top. 

“Kushina, would you mind?” Minato asked. “Rin, Kushina is going to place on the four-pointed seal, then release the seal they gave you. It’s most likely going to hurt a lot. Are you ready?” 

Rin nodded, fisting her hands in the material underneath her. Aka, Minato’s futon and blankets. 

Kushina took a deep breath and pushed chakra into the seal they’d drawn, “Fuinjutsu: seal!” Then, switching to the other, absolutely terrible seal, “Fuinjutsu: release!” 

Minato was suddenly very glad he had sealed off his tent with privacy seals. After all, they did not want Obito hurting himself by trying to get inside the tent because he heard Rin screaming. Or anyone else trying to interrupt them. That would be bad. 

Rin stopped, and Kushina sat back, picking up her brush again, “Rin, we just have to paint on this seal, and then we’re done. Obito should be awake by that time.” 

“A-alright,” She said panting a bit as she caught her breath.

Kushina gave a smile to help comfort Rin as she started to draw the second four-pointed seal. Minato started helping as well, drawing the swirly lines while Kushina handled the actual seal bit. 

“Fuinjutsu: seal,” Kushina muttered, pushing chakra into the second seal, forcing it to merge with the first one. “There you go, all done. Now you won’t release the biju when you walk into Konoha!” 

Rin nodded, still slightly out of breath. Minato unsealed the tent, and the three climbed out of the tent. 

Obito was indeed awake and was sitting by the fire, trying to figure out how to eat with only one hand. The other hand was tied quite firmly to his side. Rin smiled fondly at him and sat down next to him to help. Kakashi was just staring at Obito with an almost Nara deer in a flashy jutsu look. 

Minato sighed happily at his cute little students. They were all safe, and they were all with him. Also he had his wonderful, lovely, wife. All safe, and all in one place. Now he just had to keep from wrapping his students up in bubble wrap and putting them in a childproof room. 

“You know,” Madara said out of the blue, “Hashirama’s in the cave too. He is in another part of the cave. He left because of Danzo Senior too.” 

Kushina blinked, then started laughing, “Even Hashirama couldn’t deal with Danzo?!” 

Madara nodded, a faint smirk tugging at his old wrinkled lips. “Should Danzo Jr get too much for you, the cave is open. I am sure Hashirama would appreciate other company. And perhaps food other than straight vegetables.” 

Minato looked thoughtful, “It’s almost tempting.” 

Kakashi whipped around to stare at him, “Sensei!” 

Minato held up his hands, “Kidding, kidding. I wouldn’t go missing-Nin.” 

Madara shrugged, “Should you so choose, it is an open offer. You do not have to take us up on it.” 

Kushina hummed, thinking, “I’ll just have to prepare a couple of meals for you to keep.” 

Obito tilted his head, “Maybe we can drop by and visit sometime!”

Kushina beamed, “Of course! Then we can hear all the stories from Hashirama as well!” 

Minato watched, mildly amused as his wife went on a cooking spree, ordering Kakashi, Rin and him off to find assorted greens, hunt down some animals, and hunt down the spices she carried in her bag respectively. 

Madara almost looked impressed as he watched Kushina boss even Obito around, because he could help too, even with one arm. 

Kushina moved them on from gathering cooking supplies to striking the camp. 

“Minato,” Madara commanded, standing up. “Come.” 

Minato glanced at his wife, who nodded, then went back to her cooking. He followed Madara out of camp curiously, following him to a small clearing. He glanced towards the old man, who was using a kama with a long shaft as a walking cane. “I will be teaching you the great fireball jutsu.”

Minato’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, but then he felt a surge of giddiness flow through him. Madara was legendary for his fire techniques. Even if Minato had a wind affinity, it would still be amazing to learn from Madara. “Alright,” He agreed.

Madara smirked, “The hand signs are Snake, Ram, Monkey, Boar, Horse, and Tiger. With enough practice, you can make it so you just need the tiger hand sign. Have you ever done a fire jutsu before?”

“No, I mostly use wind, and some water and earth jutsu’s,” Minato answered. He had planned to learn some fire and lightning jutsu’s after the war but hadn’t had the time to concentrate on learning new jutsu’s.

“Alright, fire chakra is a burning passion, emotions can strengthen fire so long as you control the emotions. With wind chakra you imagine it sharpening to a fine point. With fire you imagine it burning hotter and hotter, turning everything it consumes to ash. With fire jutsu’s you also need to make sure you coat your throat in chakra to protect yourself from burning your throat.”

Minato listened as Madara explained. The old man smirked, “Now pay careful attention as I demonstrate, as I will only do so once.” He raised a single hand into a one-handed tiger seal, took in a deep breath and as he breathed out a large fireball encompassing fifty feet was spat out.

“Wow…” Minato muttered, impressed. He had seen fireballs from Fugaku that weren’t nearly half as big as Madara’s. 

Madara gave a chuckle as he smirked, “Now go ahead and try.”

Minato gave a nod and practiced the hand signs for a few minutes. Once he was sure he got them he felt his chakra and changed it to fire nature, though it did take him a few minutes to change it. Coating his throat in chakra was a simple matter, as he had learned to do that for earth jutsu’s. Taking in a deep breath he molded the chakra and breathed out a bit of smoke.

He coughed and glared at the smoke before him.

“That was a good first attempt, but you did not put enough chakra into the jutsu.”

Minato nodded and tried again. This time he managed to make a small fireball. “Good, you are getting better, you should build up the chakra a bit more before releasing it though. Instead of instantly releasing it as you make it.”

Minato gave a nod as his eyes narrowed a fraction, he formed the hand signs and built the chakra up as he would for a wind jutsu, then as he held the tiger sign he spat out the fire chakra and watched in amazement as a twenty-foot fireball flew through the air.

Madara smirked at him, “That is a good start, keep practicing and you will get even better.”

The two of them walked back to the camp and Madara gave him a few more tips for making the great fireball stronger. Minato was itching to try it out again. He was beaming as he walked back to camp and he felt like rubbing his hands together in glee. He couldn’t wait to practice more and then beat Fugaku.

Kushina grinned at her husband, who seemed to be starstruck by his success with the fireball. She looked back to her cooking just in time to save one of the fish Rin had caught from burning. 

Kakashi stared at his Sensei, and shuddered. That grin looked a bit too much like Madara’s. He turned back to organizing his stuff, staring intently at it. When not being an absolute mother hen, Minato-Sensei could be rather scary. 

Minato surveyed the camp, already mostly packed up, except for his and Kushina’s stuff. He got to work on his stuff, packing it up quickly, then moved onto Kushina’s stuff, as she was busy cooking. And Kami did Minato know what happened when you tried to stop Kushina Uzumaki. Especially when she was cooking. Unspeakable horrors. And pranks. So many pranks… Minato gave a shudder at the thought. 

Once they were packed up, Kushina presented Madara with around twenty home-cooked meals, all conveniently wrapped up in tin foil for reheating, and sealed into a scroll. 

Minato glanced over to find Kushina having an argument with Madara, both looking rather irritated, Madara’s hair fluffing up a bit, and Kushina’s hair beginning to rise. 

“We are escorting you no matter what you say,” Kushina insisted. 

“I am not in need of a babysitter, I am perfectly able to walk on my own,” Madara countered, folding his arms as he narrowed his visible eye. 

“But, what if we want to see Hashirama?” 

“Why would you want that?” 

“So I can give him instructions on things to have with these! And how to cook them!” 

“It’s Hashirama, y’know, the First Hokage,” Obito offered. 

Madara gave a huff as he glanced at all of them, “Fine,” He bit out with a scowl, seeing that there was no way he would win the argument.

Kushina smiled, tucking the scroll into her backpack. “Alright, who’s carrying Obito?” 

“I will,” Minato offered, fastening his backpack on a bit more securely. 

“I wish I could actually walk,” Obito huffed. 

“If you want to ruin all of the healing you’ve done so far, you’re welcome to,” Kushina said, “And something tells me Rin will kill you herself if you try that.” 

Obito decided rather quickly as he glanced over to see Rin smiling at him in an overly sweet manner, “Sensei, I’ll take the ride over Rin killing me.” 

“If you throw him over your shoulder...” Rin started, not finishing the threat. 

Minato nodded quickly. You did not mess with the Medic-nin. It was a really bad idea. They could make you suffer. They knew how to heal you, and they knew all the ways to hurt you, and not ruin your recovery. 

He crouched next to Obito, sliding a hand under his knees, and a hand around his back, picking him up bridal style. Obito shifted a couple of times, but otherwise kept silent as they made their way through the trees to Madara’s cave. 

Madara stopped walking in front of a large pile of boulders, two caves, one really big, the other smaller, right about the size of a normal person. Madara glanced back at Kushina and raised an eyebrow judgingly.

Kushina gave a nervous chuckle. “Well? Is Hashirama awake?” 

Madara shook his head and disappeared into the smaller cave, before re-emerging a few moments later with a negative shake of his head. “He is sleeping. You can leave now.” 

Kushina sighed and handed him the scroll of food. “I left instructions in a secondary scroll. Perhaps we’ll see you some other time! Then maybe Hashirama will be awake.”

“We should be getting back to Konoha,” Kakashi said impatiently. 

“Thanks for teaching me the great fireball!” Minato said a wide grin on his face as a chibi version of himself rubbed his hands gleefully in his mind.

Obito glanced at his Sensei, a little worried now, “So that’s what that was? Should we be worried?” 

“Nah,” Minato replied wanting to wave a hand dismissively, but he was holding Obito. “I was just thinking about using a shadow clone to create a collaboration jutsu.”

Madara gave a smirk of approval at that statement.

Now Kakashi and Rin were looking worriedly at him. 

“Alright, shoo now, I got to get some rest,” Madara grouched as he disappeared inside the cave.

“Now we can head back to Konoha!” Kushina cheered, leading the way back through the trees, leaping through the branches this time. 


	3. Chapter 3

Due to the tiring nature of sealing, and Obito, they didn’t travel too far the first day, but made better time over the next two days of traveling towards Konoha. 

“Sensei? Who’s that?” Obito asked, squinting at a figure ahead. 

Kushina squinted too, and frowned in recognition, “It’s Junior, what’s he doing out here? We’re only two or three miles from Konoha, couldn’t he have waited until we got back?” 

“I wonder why Junior is here… we don’t really interact with him. Ever,” Minato commented.

“That too,” Kushina agreed. “Minato, could you check if he has anyone with him?” 

Minato nodded, pausing for a moment to check for any other people they couldn’t see. “Four other shinobi, I’d say jounin level, maybe high chuunin.”

Kakashi scoffed, “Hardly a guard you’d think would be with a Hokage’s advisor.” 

“That’s just based on their chakra, Kakashi,” Minato scolded softly. “Medical nin can be very dangerous, but usually have very low levels of chakra. Kushina had high jounin levels of chakra at least by the time she was a genin.” 

“Darn right I did,” Kushina said, smirking. 

“Kushina, Team Minato,” Danzo greeted. 

“Danzo Junior,” Kushina replied, her smirk growing. 

Danzo twitched, “Where did you hear that?” 

“Oh~ just an old friend of your dad,” Kushina sang. 

Minato gave a small chuckle and ignored the worried look Obito gave him. Honestly he didn’t understand why Obito kept looking at him like that. It didn’t make any sense.

Danzo twitched again, then sighed, “You are not permitted back in the leaf.” 

Kushina’s smirk dropped like a stone, “What?!”

“Why not?” Minato questioned, holding Obito just a tad tighter. 

“You’re traitors, of course,” Danzo replied airily, oozing self-satisfaction. “This is your first and only warning, come back and we will terminate you.” 

Rin actually took a proper step back at that, looking hurt, “But we aren’t traitors!” 

“What did you do  _ Junior _ ?” Kushina growled, hair flying up and separating into nine sections. 

“Nothing, it was the Hokage who declared you traitors.”

Minato sweatdropped, “Well, I guess we’re taking gramps up on his offer.” 

“Yay! We can listen to grandpa’s stories!” Obito cheered.

It was Danzo’s turn to sweatdrop, “Grandpa?” 

“None of your business, Junior,” Kushina snarked, hair calming down. 

Danzo twitched again. “Don’t call me that.”

“Maybe gramps will teach me another fire jutsu…” Minato wondered out loud his eyes gaining stars at the thought.

All three of his students glanced at him, worried. Kushina just brushed it off, pinning it as another one of his jutsu fascinations that would pass once he was done creating and or learning all of them. 

“What sort of evidence do you have of us being traitors?” Kakashi questioned deciding to ignore Minato’s weirdness.

“I don’t have to answer you boy,” Danzo replied with a sneer.

“Will you answer me?” Minato asked, refocusing on the conversation. 

Danzo huffed, “I don’t see why you are playing dumb to the fact you were giving vital information to Iwa and Kumo. We have proof of the documents signaling your deals with them.”

Kushina growled, “We would never!” 

“Kushina, let’s not bother arguing, we know he’s not going to budge,” Rin said, tugging on Kushina’s sleeve.

“Plus, we got gramps to spend time with,” Obito offered. 

“Maybe the other one will be awake then,” Kakashi added.

Kushina sighed, “Fine. We won’t bother with you, Junior. Maybe we’ll see you around.” 

Minato smirked as he thought of some revenge. He would make Junior suffer for kicking him out of Konoha… He had wanted to be Hokage after all. As had Kushina, now neither of them could become Hokage thanks to Danzo Jr. so he would torment the man and cause as many headaches as possible. 

They all gave Danzo a wave and some variation of “Bye Junior!” Before they headed off back into the trees. 

Minato glanced back, paused, and decided to give him an ominous warning, “Beware, kage level headaches are on the way!” 

Kushina facepalmed when he caught up to them, “You are such a dork!” 

Minato grinned goofily at her, “And you love me for it!” 

Behind them, Kakashi gagged silently, Rin gave a small sigh of happiness, and Obito rolled his eyes.

They traveled back, reaching the cave in a few days. Kushina knocked on the side of the opening, wondering if they were home. 

“Back so soon? It has only been a week,” Madara said, appearing in the doorway after a few moments and leaning against the wall for support. 

“Well, we got fed up with Danzo Junior,” Kushina said, shrugging. 

“He called us traitors and told us not to come back or we’d be killed,” Kakashi offered, seeing Madara’s slightly suspicious look. 

“So we decided to take you up on your offer, if that is still open,” Minato added.

Madara nodded, heaving a sigh, “It is. Come on in.” 

They entered through the crack, the bright light of the day quickly being consumed into inky darkness. Yet along the walls were a few seals that emitted a very dim light, not enough to brighten the place, but it was enough for the ninja to make their way without stumbling over every nook and cranny.

A small sound of streaming water was heard faintly in the background. They followed Madara through the twist and turns of the cave, soon getting disoriented as they got deeper into the labyrinth-like cave structure.

They followed Madara into a room where it appeared there had been a small rockfall of sorts, leaving a patch of dirt in direct sunlight. There was also a stalactite with water dripping slowly trickling down, leaving a small pool at the bottom with water. Another old man, they assumed it was Hashirama, sat there, tending to a little garden planted there. His hair was pure white and flat, reaching down to the ground. It was messy and tangled though, as if it hadn’t been brushed in years.

“Are you Hashirama?” Kushina asked before anyone could say anything. 

The old man turned to them, his eyes lighting up and he gave a cheerful smile, his wrinkles becoming less prominent with the action. “That’s me, where’d Madara find you?” 

Kushina blushed slightly, “Well, technically, I found him.” 

“Oh, you were the cause of all the rubble in that main room Madara keeps complaining about?” 

Kushina rubbed the back of her head, “Yeah, that was me. Sorry about that.”

Hashirama laughed, “It’s fine, why that’s the most excitement Mads and I have had in years!”

Madara frowned at Hashirama, “Do not call me that.”

“I have been calling you Mads for the past 60 years. If I haven’t stopped since then, what makes you think this time is going to be any different,” Hashirama harrumphed.

Madara frowned deeper, folding his arms. 

“Did you like the food I cooked?” Kushina asked, stars in her eyes. 

The children of Team Minato decided as a group that they were forever doomed. Danzo was so going down. 

“It reminded me of Mito’s,” Hashirama sighed happily. 

Kushina decided that was a compliment, “Thanks!” 

Hashirama looked at her and narrowed his eyes with a thoughtful expression on his face, “You look a bit like Mito as well.”

“Well, I’m probably related in some way, Uzumaki genes and all.” 

Hashirama nodded his head, “Yeah, that is true.”

Madara sighed heavily to get their attention, “We should assign bedrooms.” 

Obito cheered the best he could from his position still being held by Minato, “Yay! I can be put down!” 

“Good, maybe then I can stop lugging you around, you big lump,” Minato teased. 

Obito pouted at him, “Let’s go!” 

Madara exhaled slowly and hobbled out of the cave once more using his kama as a walking cane. 

Minato, Kushina, and the rest of the team followed him out. Hashirama pouted at the plants in front of him. 

“Coming Hashirama?” Kushina asked, pausing at the exit. 

“I can’t, I’m not mobile enough. I can barely manage walking from my bedroom to here twice a day. Even though my room is right next door.” 

Kushina frowned thoughtfully, “I’ll just have to carry you!” 

Hashirama took only a few seconds to decide, “Sure.” 

Kushina beamed and scooped him up. 

“Oh, there you are Kushina,” Minato said, his arms free of Obito, “Obito got that room across the hall from what Madara said was Hashirama’s! Hello Hashirama-sama!” 

“None of that Sama stuff,” Hashirama waved the suffix off, “I’m barely mobile,” he complained once more, a few dark lines over his head. 

“Of course I am more mobile than you,” Madara tossed back. “You  _ are _ older than I am.” 

Hashirama’s dark lines grew, seeming to create a dark cloud over his head, “I’m only a few months older…” He whined.

“Rin, Kakashi,” Madara spoke, pointing to two rooms across from each other. "You may stay in these rooms. Minato, Kushina, there is a larger room further down the hall. These walls are thick, but not as thick as you think. Add silencing seals.” 

Kushina smirked, “Will do!” 

Minato squeaked, turned red, and buried his face in his hands. 

Kakashi gagged, and Rin cooed again.

Kushina turned back. “I’ll go put gramps down in his room, then we can settle in a bit.” 

Rin and Kakashi nodded, going into their respective rooms.

Minato, face still a bit red, hurried down the hall to where Madara had said his and Kushina’s room was, and disappeared inside. Once in the large circular room, he placed a Hiraishin seal down so he could quickly return, he would have to put the seals around the rest of the cave later.

Kushina came in a bit later, stealing a kiss from him before putting her backpack down next to the wall. “Hmm, do you think you could flash back to our apartment and grab a few things?” 

“Uh, let’s ask the team about it too, they may want some of their stuff as well.” 

So they returned to their students and asked them to meet in Hashirama’s room, then Minato went to Obito’s room and carried him to Hashirama’s room.

“Does anybody want anything while I go grab our stuff?” Minato questioned gesturing to Kushina as he said we.

Kakashi raised his hand. “Clothing, perhaps. And please tell Gai he requires a new person to challenge.”

Rin nodded, a bit sheepish. “Could you let my parents know about our, erm, defection?” 

“Oh! Rub it into my old man’s face for me, please Sensei?!” Obito questioned with a mischievous grin on his face.

Kushina snapped her fingers, “Mikoto and Hanaka might want to know if you can manage that Minato.” 

Minato nodded. “I’ll tell them Kushina. No promises they’ll believe me though. You know how they are. Kakashi, sure, I’ll tell Gai you will no longer be available to challenge. Obito, I will tell your old man you’re alive, then rub it in his face. Rin, I will tell your parents you defected, and we are your new parents.” 

“Thanks, sensei,” his students chorused, and Kushina smiled at him. 

“Be back soon,” Minato said, a slightly mischievous grin on his face. 

Minato flashed away, going straight to his and Kushina’s apartment. As suspected, no one was there, so Minato sealed up what he could quickly, then moved on to Kakashi’s house. Again, it was empty, so Minato sealed up what he could, really only finding a few pairs of clothing, and even fewer personal items, and was about to flash away when the door banged open. 

“YOSH!” Maito Gai yelled, then stopped as he blinked at Minato. “You are not my most youthful eternal rival, might you know where he is?” 

Minato grinned, finding this convenient. “Kakashi decided to be most un-youthful and go missing-nin, and wishes for me to tell you that you will have to find another youthful rival.” 

Gai frowned for about two seconds, then brightened back up again. “I shall regard it as our last challenge! Thank you for delivering the message, Minato-san!” 

“You’re welcome,” Minato told him, flashing away towards his next destination. 


	4. Chapter 4

Minato appeared on the front door, ignored the confused Uchiha around him, and knocked. 

An older man came to the door. Personally, Minato had always thought that Obito’s dad looked like he had the Uchiha hereditary stick up his backend stuck so far up it was obstructing the part of his brain that let him have fun. And possibly a few other parts as well.

“What are you doing here, Namikaze?” He growled. 

“Obito requested I pick up a few things. May I come inside?” 

The Uchiha grunted, but stepped aside, “Obito? Isn’t the baka dead?” 

Minato tutted, “Not a very great way to speak about your son, Uchiha-san. And I assure you, he is very much alive.” 

“That boy was better off dead.”

Minato allowed a slight smirk, “Oh, you won’t have to worry about him coming back home, he’s a missing-nin now.” 

Obito’s good for nothing father gave a grunt, “Just pick up that brats stuff and don’t ever darken my doorstep again.”

“Happy to,” Minato chirped, just itching to strangle the man. He found Obito’s stuff all packed up in boxes, presumably set to go to the Uchiha place of incineration. He sealed it up, sent a cheeky smile and wave to Obito’s father, and flashed away, headed for Rin’s house. 

Like with Obito’s house, Minato appeared on the doorstep and knocked. Rin’s parents almost immediately opened the door, then almost looked disappointed that it wasn’t Rin. Both were brown-haired, and Minato could tell Rin took after her mother a lot.

“Hello Minato-san, what brings you here?” Rin’s father spoke. 

“May I come in? It’s a bit of a story,” Minato admitted. 

Rin’s mother nodded, stepping aside to allow him entry. She walked over to the hallway, gesturing Minato to the couches in the living room. “Mayuri? Could you come here, dear?” 

“Coming mom,” Mayuri called. 

Rin’s father sat down across from Minato, staring at him, “What happened to Rin? Why are you back, and she isn’t?” 

“Oh, little sister isn’t back?” Mayuri asked, coming in, flipping her brown hair over her shoulder. 

Minato sighed deeply, “We were on a mission, and-”

Instantly the mother jumped to a conclusion, “No! Rin can’t be dead, she can’t!”

“She’s not… but… well, a lot of things happened.”

“Why don’t you explain from the start,” Rin’s father suggested with a thoughtful frown as he wrapped his arm around his wife.

“Alright, so Rin told you that Obito died on our last mission, correct?”

Mayuri gave a nod, “Yeah.”

“Well, Kushina told us that she felt his chakra was still alive, so we requested to go find him. Hokage-sama gave us the all-clear to do so, but before we could go find Obito my team had to grab some medical supplies,” He paused and gazed at them to make sure they were with him so far, seeing that they were he continued, “Kiri managed to set up an ambush for us and kidnapped Rin, we went to get her back and we did, but they put a seal on her.”

“What kind of seal?”

“One that would go off if she set foot in Konoha,” Minato carefully explained, not willing to tell them that she was now a Jinchuuriki. “We managed to go meet with Kushina who had gotten Obito and fixed the seal. So we came back to Konoha, now this is where things get a bit weird… you see we were met a couple miles from the gate and told that we were traitors, that if we stepped foot in Konoha we would be killed. So to keep Rin and the others safe we decided it was best if we didn’t try and push the issue.”

Her parents stared at him in wide eyes and Minato regretted his decision to explain things to them, he should have just popped in, told them they were missing-nins and grabbed her stuff then flashed away. Would have been much simpler.

“But… you’re in Konoha now,” Mayuri pointed out, confusion in her eyes.

“Yes, mostly because I can Hiraishin away if I get caught. So if you don’t mind I’m going to go grab Rin’s stuff.”

Numbly Rin’s mother nodded, her eyes a bit glassy. Minato went upstairs and quickly packed up Rin’s stuff before coming back down. “So… it’s probably best if you just consider Kushina and I her parents now, or just consider her dead if you want, you probably won’t be seeing her again.”

With that last parting comment he gave a beaming grin and a wave goodbye before he flashed off to find his next destination. Danzo’s secret lair. Or house. Or wherever the man was. Focusing he recalled the feel of Danzo’s chakra and then tracked the man down, easily hiding from the ninja’s. He was considered the fastest Ninja right now for a reason, after all. 

“Hello, Danzo!” Minato said cheerfully, before pulling down his pants and underwear, mooning the Hokage’s advisor, then as the man stared in wide-eyed disbelief Minato knocked him out. Minato cheerfully pulled out a marker he’d found in Rin’s room and borrowed, then drew all over Danzo Junior’s face. A mustache and a monocle didn’t look too bad on his already ugly face. Of course, nothing could really make his face much uglier. Not even permanent marker. Actually Minato was fairly sure that the permanent marker made his face look better.

Minato went and placed an invisible Hirashin seal on the underside of Danzo’s desk, then decided to Hirashin back to the cave and see if anyone wanted to help him prank Danzo.

Minato appeared in his and Kushina’s room, dropped their scroll on the ground next to their backpacks, then walked out into the hallway, intending to find where everyone was.

“I got presents!” He announced. “Who wants to go prank Danzo?” 

“Ooh, ooh, me!” Kushina shouted, waving her arm in the air like an eager school-girl. 

Hashirama pouted, the depression cloud forming over his head. “I can’t, I’m not mobile enough.” 

“I’ll carry you then, no one should be denied the opportunity of pranking Danzo Junior,” Minato declared. 

Kakashi heaved a slightly annoyed sigh, “I might as well, you’ll need someone to keep an ear out.”

“If you think I am just going to sit here while you lot are off pranking, you have the wrong impression of me,” Madara spoke, standing up, a slightly maniacal grin stretching across his face for a moment.

Rin shook her head, “I’ll set up my room and keep Obito company.” 

Minato dug her scroll out of his pocket and handed it to her. “Obito, do you want yours too?”

Obito nodded, holding a hand out, “Rin can help when she’s done, I can get the small stuff in the meantime.” 

“Alright then, anything else before we head out?”

“Uh, Sensei? Shouldn’t you grab mattresses?” Obito asked. 

Minato blinked, “Right… we need bed sets. I’ll make sure to grab some while we’re out. Any color sheets you want? Or type?”

“I’ll take cotton sheets, dark blue! Can I have a queen size bed?” Obito requested excited.

“Only queen?”

“Yeah, king-size is a bit too big for me. Can the bedframe be a darker wood?”

“Sure. What about you Rin?”

“I’ll take a twin size bed with purple satin sheets. And a lighter wooden frame for me,” Rin answered with a smile.

“I want a king-size bed, with grey sheets, and a mahogany frame. Also, I will need some dog bowls, food, toys, and other training supplies.”

“Oh yeah, you just got a summoning contract with a pack of pups that you’re supposed to train!” Kushina exclaimed gleefully.

“Well you’re coming with us Kakashi, so you can pick your own bed out at the store. Also, we can raid the Inuzuka’s for dog supplies. We can grab other stuff later.”

“How are you going to pay for all the beds?” Rin asked.

Minato blushed, and avoided the question, “Uhh, that should be good for now.” He picked up Hashirama, “Alright then, everyone who is coming along grab a hold of me.” As soon as he felt three hands on him he hiraishined over to Danzo’s hideout so they could start pranking the man. 

Kushina, of course, started snickering when she saw Danzo, passed out on the floor with a mustache and monocle drawn on his face in permanent marker. 

Minato saw a chair behind Danzo’s desk and sat Hashirama down. Then he spotted the piles of paperwork Danzo had on his desk and pulled out some crayons. “Who wants to draw on his paperwork?” 

Hashirama gave an evil grin, “I will!”

Kakashi smiled slightly, “I’ll help.” 

Minato looked around with a thoughtful expression. “I’m going to see if he has a wheelchair around somewhere.” 

“I think I’ll put itching powder in his clothes,” Kushina said, with an evil grin matching Hashirama’s. 

“I will go find something to set on fire,” Madara decided, hobbling away. 

So, Minato wandered off to find a wheelchair, Madara went to find something to set on fire, Kushina wandered off to find Danzo’s clothes, and Kakashi and Hashirama got to work drawing. 

Hashirama hummed happily as he drew little flower doodles on the paperwork. Little trees appeared, and it was all fine and dandy until he tried drawing little animals in his tiny forests. While Hashirama could draw flowers and trees reasonably well, his animals were… less good. 

Kakashi decided on a brown crayon and started trying to draw his pack of puppies on the papers. Kakashi, being a shinobi since he was 5, had not had very much practice drawing. As such, Hashirama had competition for his sheer lack of talent in drawing animals. 

With no one to comment on their inability to draw, both just continued drawing on all of Danzo’s paperwork. Kakashi managed to branch out to drawing assorted jutsu, lightning spidering down across some papers, flames curling along the edges of others. Hashirama branched out to water dragons rearing up and glaring at the person reading the paper. 

Kushina wandered down one of the hallways, a bag of itching powder in her hand. She poked her head into the first door and was rewarded by a large room, chock full of what looked like some sort of uniform. She gleefully ducked inside and created a bunch of clones. She unsealed a few more bags of itching powder and handed it out. The Kushina’s set to work, smearing the itching powder everywhere, in the masks, especially in the socks and boots, and in the pants and shirts. 

She walked out of the room, escorted by her clones, and intending on finding all the other rooms with those uniforms. She was down only half a bag total and had loads more to use. 

Minato could not for the life of him, find a wheelchair. There were a whole bunch of storage rooms, and he painted the symbol for clothing on all of the doors that had clothes inside to make it easier for his wife. 

Finally, in a storeroom that was marked ‘senior’, Minato found what he was looking for. A chakra powered wheelchair. He folded it up and flashed back to where Hashirama and Kakashi were, carefully landing so he did not land on top of Kakashi, who was lying on his stomach coloring in a fire dragon on one of Danzo’s sheets of paperwork. 

“That’s a very impressive fire dragon,” Minato commented, setting the wheelchair down. 

Danzo groaned, and as Kakashi jumped at Minato’s appearance, his foot lashed out and kicked Danzo in the head, knocking him out. 

“Uh, was the kicking Danzo in the head on purpose?” Minato asked, raising an eyebrow. 

Kakashi nodded sheepishly, “Reflex, he keeps groaning so I kick him in the head to knock him out again.” 

Minato gave a thumbs up, “Smart thinking.”

Hashirama paused his drawing as he sniffed the air, “Is it just me, or do you smell smoke?”

Minato gave a shrug at that and Kushina burst in the room with a large beaming grin, “I have finished putting itching powder on every single article of clothing in this place.”

Madara came back in with a smug smirk, “We should get out of here, I have started a few fires.”

Hashirama rolled his eyes. 

“I still have a little bit of powder left…” Kushina muttered holding up a mostly empty bag. With a careless shrug she sprinkled the powder down Danzo’s shirt and pants while wrinkling her nose.

“Alright, Madara, Hashirama, would you like to go bed shopping with Kushina and Kakashi?”

“No,” Hashirama said with a bit of a yawn, “I think I need a nap.”

“I’ll return you to the cave then,” He transferred Hashirama to the wheelchair and Madara put a hand on his shoulder as Minato hiraishined back to the cave.

Hashirama beamed as he used the wheelchair to move himself to his room. “I can move again!” Hashirama cheered as he rolled his way through the cave.

Madara shook his head, but smirked at Minato, “You have made Hashirama’s day, thank you.”

Minato gave a nod, and then hirashined back to Danzo’s office. The smoke was now pretty heavy so he quickly grabbed Kushina and Kakashi and hiraishined them to the shopping district, “I’ll hiraishin to you in a few minutes, I’m going to go pay a visit to Sarutobi.”

He went back and grabbed Danzo and then hiraishined to the Hokage’s tower, he didn’t have a hiraishin tag directly in Sarutobi’s office. Yet. He would have to place one while he was there.

Walking into the tower he was almost disappointed that no one tried to attack him. Ah well, there would be time for that later, once they actually put him in the bingo book. The stares he did get were mostly ones of shock since he had Danzo slung over his shoulder, and he was taking care to make sure Danzo bang against every door and wall.

He went into the Hokage’s office, ignoring the protesting secretary. Sartubi looked up from his pipe and stared at him, his eyes widening a bit, “Minato.”

“Sarutobi! What a lovely day, seems I have been declared a traitor, so being the missing-nin I am I thought I should return the messenger,” He threw Danzo down on top of Sarutobi’s desk sending paperwork flying.

He leaned over the desk to stare Sarutobi in the eyes, placing an invisible hiraishin seal on the desk as he did so. “I thought you knew me, how could you think that I’m a traitor?”

“I was given plenty of evidence of your misdeeds.”

“Evidence from Junior there,” Minato scoffed in reply. “We don’t appreciate the accusation, and we will have our revenge.” With that said, he turned around and took a couple of steps as if walking out before he pulled down his pants and mooned Sarutobi. “Later old man!” Minato shouted as he stood up, pulled up his pants, and hirashined to his wife.


End file.
